Funny, isn't it?

How, in books, Baddies are always intent on the same evil deed - namely, destroying the planet?

In The Maelstrom Mission, they're no different. Except our Baddies are different from the lesser, wimpy, simpering Baddies that you find in most stories, because they are real B-A-D Baddies, the baddiest Baddies, ever, in the entire Universe - and beyond. Fact.

Strangely, being B-A-D makes them feel so GOOD that sometimes this results in them running about all over the place, confused about how to differentiate between what is really B-A-D and what is really GOOD.

They can spend so much time doing this, that, at the end of the day, they discover that they've not been very B-A-D at all, and so they end up feeling unfulfilled, as if their lives had no real purpose. Which makes them feel B-A-D all over again!

The fact is, they find it difficult to get in touch with their innermost feelings (except the B-A-D ones, obviously) and could really benefit from therapy of some kind … so, please, have some sympathy for the poor, deranged, creatures ...

Anyway, here are some short introductions to the main Baddies in the book – WARNING: DO NOT TURN YOUR BACK ON ANY OF THEM!

(Sorry, there are no pictures of the Baddies due to the fact that they are so disgusting-looking, they would only make you throw-up.)


Assassin
Maelstrom’s first Lieutenant. In his elemental form, Assassin is a hurricane, and goes on regular surveillance missions around the world. In his human form, you can’t fail to notice him because he wears a single large Ray Ban lens to covers his blazing red eye, a bit like Cyclops.
Co-inventor, with Maelstrom, of Super Hurricanes.
Favourite expression: “Jeez, I’m all in a spin!”

Volcano Head
Volcano Head is basically a bit of a volcano. He – very roughly speaking - has a human-shaped body ( a bit knobbly, like the Elephant Man’s) and the head of a volcano. He’s always dribbling lava.
Favourite expression: “Got any Pepsodol? I got terrible heartburn.”

Rat
Rat is a vulture, so to speak. He's always hanging around after natural disasters helping organise the clean-up operation. His crew numbers millions and operate their cleaning-service worldwide.
Favourite diseases: Cholera, Plague, Ebola.
Favourite expression: “Hey, can I gnaw the kiddies’ fingers. Can I? PLEASE!”

The Mud Bugs
One of Maelstrom’s most fiendish weapons. Read more about them here: The Mud Bugs.